Boyfriend vs Butler
by PlumPocky
Summary: Who knew a vaction to London can get a vampire killed? WARNING: IF YOU LOVE BELLA AND EDWARD, DON'T READ! Sorry the story's so sketchy, I might try to upload a more detailed version someday. OOC-ness!


**THIS IS THE FINAL WARNING: If you fear for Edward Cullen and Bella Swan's life, don't read. If you want to witness his humiliating death, please proceed. If you flame this, you must have missed this BOLD part of the story. I will not tolerate irrelevant flames, thank you.**

_The Volturi had given Bella quite a scare in Italy so Edward had decided to take her on a vacation in London. Of course, Bella accepted immediately, like any other offer Edward had ever made to her, with utter excitement._

Bella was walking along some small shops with a bunch of multi-colored shopping bags hanging from her thin arms. "Where did Edward go?" she thought, pausing for a moment to catch her breath. Walking under the overcast sky seemed exhausting to her, but with Edward, _nothing_ was exhausting. She could do anything with him by her side. The only issue was, EDWARD'S NOT HERE! Bella sighed, "Wherever he is, I hope he comes soon." She never noticed two guys approaching her with obviously bad intentions.

One of them nudged her shoulder, "Hey beautiful, wanna go play with us?" he cooed, snickering after a short pause. Bella just glared, but deep down she was trembling and scared out of her pants. "No," she shot back defiantly "Edward will come save me," she thought aloud. They snorted rudely at her comment. "Come on little lady," said some other guy, "We'll have a lot of fun with us." The two men circled Bella snickering like some crazy freaks high on crack. "Edward will save me," she said, thought, prayed with everything she had.

"What was that? You think your knight in shining armor's gonna come save you? We'll kick the crap outta your boyfriend," the both laughed. To their surprise, they were slugged in the face by someone they couldn't see.

"Did I hear someone wanting to beat me up?" a deathly pale man with dramatically styled bronze hair said. He looked like someone who got murdered and stuffed in a freezer to be a real-life mannequin.

"Edward!" Bella cheered, immense relief washing over her system. "Did they scare you, love?" Edward asked lovingly.

"Let's get out of here, those two are up to no good," she squeaked. Edward's eyes shot toward the two men. "What? You wanna go?" one of the men asked, wiping the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. Without a word, the pale man decided to avenge his girlfriend by slaughtering the two thugs. He returned to his partner and ran a blood-stained hand through his hair without a care for the mangled corpses behind him. He didn't notice two figures watching him intently from afar.

"What _is_ he?" one figure asked. "That there, young master, is a vampire," replied the other figure. "Let's go check it out then…Sebastian."

Edward dusted his shirt off, getting blood on the light-colored fabric. "They'll never bother you again, Bella. Anyone who does will suffer the same fate." His girlfriend smiled broadly at him and clung to his arm.

"That was very impressive vampire," the tall butler said, clapping slowly as he and Ciel approached the vampire and his girl, "although it's quite messy. You could use a bit of restraint." Edward's eyes narrowed into golden slits, "How do you know I'm a vampire?" he growled. Sebastian smirked, raising his hands in a shrug, "I'm just one hell of a butler. Where would we be if a servant of the Phantomhive cannot detect a vampire?"

"You don't know what he's capable of, leave us if you know what's good for you!" Bella warned them. Edward nodded and lunged at the two strangers before him in a flash. Surprisingly, he missed. Sebastian and Ciel were standing next to an astonished Bella now.

"This man murdered two people in a matter of moments to please his spoiled girlfriend. People like that are threats to England. Sebastian, I order you to eliminate him!" Ciel commanded.

A crooked smile stretched out across the red-eyed butler's face, "Yes… my lord," he replied smoothly, rushing at Edward.

"This should be easy," the vampire scoffed, "no vampire is faster than I am!" He never thought the clash would tear his right arm off.

"How can you possibly compare me to a lowly vampire, leeches enslaved by the stench of blood?" sneered Sebastian, tossing the severed arm aside like it was something nasty he found on the soles of his shoes.

"Bastard! I'm going to make you wish you were never born!" Edward roared, going for the butler's throat, thinking that he can win with speed. He was wrong yet again. The vampire was roughly jerked to a halt by an iron grip on his hair. Pain exploded in his left shoulder where the arm had been ripped off to join his other one in the corner. Blood poured from the stump. "Respect your elders child, I didn't spread the Black Death to be taken as some weakling," the dark haired man warned.

What happened next was a blur. Edward tried another shot at Ciel's butler with all the speed he could muster up. Sebastian decided to play along. They were locked in a deadly dance that was too fast for human eyes to see. Well, except for the occasional limbs that were thrown out and the spraying of blood.

"Please, tell them to stop hurting my Edward!" Bella begged, tears streaming from her brown eyes. She grasped Ciel's arm in desperation. "I'll do anything you ask!"

Ciel's expression was set in stone."No can do, miss, that vampire is a threat to Her Majesty and must be taken out, so I must ask you to hold your tongue and watch this splendid show, " the earl replied coldly.

In around thirty seconds, they could see Sebastian standing erect and straightening up his clothes while Edward's torso fell unceremoniously onto the hard concrete. "And now for the final touch," the demon declared, lighting up a match and dropping it nonchalantly on Edwards pieces. "It is only proper etiquette to clean up your messes."

Bella started to cry hysterically, mourning the loss of her beloved. Her sobs drew some unwanted attention, and when I say that reader, I, the narrator, mean a certain red-haired shinigami.

"Oh what miserable sobs! Women are not pretty when they cry! I shall cheer you up by giving you a makeover," Grell sang happily, before ripping his chainsaw through Bella's fragile body. Her eyes bugged out of her skull, her mouth wide open in a silent scream.

"This shade of crimson really suits you. Now, I am a busy person, I must attend to other things," he continued, removing his weapon from the woman and letting her body drop onto the ground beneath his feet. He started to make his way toward the black-clad butler.

"Young master, can we please leave this nasty place? It doesn't suit you," Sebastian said stiffly, trying to get away from the shinigami. Ciel nodded in agreement and decided to turn away to leave when Grell launched himself at the butler.

"HEY! THAT'S MY BUTLER YOU'RE MOLESTING!"

Fin.


End file.
